Customer care is the long-winded way of a business telling you they don't care.
If I ceased to exist for one day I know my life would be entirely different.
I am at the mercy of time.
Things that should have always been normal now need to be "normalised".
Maybe the trick to living a long life is procrastination.
Literally, everything that could go wrong did, as Murphy rightly predicted.
The joke is only a part of a story, it's up to you to decide which is more important, the joke or the story.