It would be safe to say that people aren’t usually fans of traffic. There are close to no perks of being stuck in traffic and these days it’s just been getting worse. This week has been a long and winded one. There was much to do and there is still much to get done. The breaks were far and few for me to sit and pen my thoughts at ease.
I have been trying to split my time between studying and getting everything in order before I go back to finish my course. In the middle of that, I have weddings to attend and a whole of host of other commitments. I’m pretty good at managing my time, but it requires energy, my energy that is depleting rather quickly.
Now as this gap year slowly grinds to a halt, it’s been getting tighter in terms of time. The relaxation is slowly turning into seriousness. Today I thought about all this on my way to and fro to the shopping centre. My Mum and I had an agenda for shopping today.
Since we finished the shopping today we don’t need to go purchase anything more this year, thankfully. As always it drains me, whatever I don’t enjoy doing drains my energy. Nonetheless, some of these aren’t a choice. It was a break from the studies. Throwing myself back into research has helped calm the nerves regarding next year which will be starkly different from this one.
Adding to it, we had a lot of rain here today, as the rain got heavier so did the traffic. Despite all the time I spent thinking I didn’t end up in a downward spiral of thoughts for once. Instead, I felt neutral, I am far from a neutral person. But I felt nothing for a change, I wasn’t worried about the questions and wasn’t looking for any answers. It was just right.
The traffic at least moved, it wasn’t the kind where you don’t move an inch in an hour. It was just jam-packed roads but with moving traffic. The day got longer and the sun had no plans to shine. Even though we tried to finish the shopping quickly, there was only so much we could do.
The whole time I was wondering when I could go home and get down to writing. At the back of my head, I knew it was going to get late and I was going to be too exhausted to write anything. I did try but it amounted to nothing. Thoughts need time to settle, to fall into place so that you can chart them.
As I sat there in the traffic waiting to get home I noticed that everyone was going somewhere. It seems rather obvious I know. We were all moving and waiting out turn. The RJ asked, “Are you bothered by the weather or the traffic?” I think we were bothered by time. Traffic is ok when you have time, but that is rarely the case.
I enjoy sitting and staring out the window, but there was not much to stare at. I saw some sweepers, sweeping roads even in the pouring rain. I suppose weather doesn’t stop some people from doing their job. The winters and rain aren’t a great combination. There’s already little sunlight in the day to keep us going.
When you’re rushing, a lot of things that seemed like a blur come into focus. Unfortunately, this life doesn’t allow us to go slow, we have to manually put all our might onto the brakes to go slower. I have missed a lot of things despite being a fan of observing and people-watching, I’ve noticed nothing in the face of my problems. You become oblivious to your surroundings when you’re focussed on your destination.
This weekend will be no different, tomorrow will be no different. Perhaps I should be happy the roads are getting more clogged as the days go by. Maybe there’s some good in it. The people behind us honked long horns yesterday, some people fought on the road, many tried to jump a signal to get pulled aside by the traffic police, the cows stood in the middle of the road unperturbed as usual. Where are they rushing to? Why are they in such a hurry? Is it work, family, issues or just their fear that there isn’t much time left?