Patience is key

Good things come to those who wait. That’s what they say. Well, I have been doing a lot of waiting lately. I don’t like it one bit. It’s like life’s hit ‘Pause’ and I’m here waiting to move. It’s boring, to say the least. I don’t do very well with waiting it makes me antsy and I have to sit contemplating why things are not moving as fast as I want them to. I’m waiting for a lot of things and it’s slowly driving me up the wall. I guess some things are out of my control. I’d prefer if they were.

I’ve been waiting for replies to e-mails, to calls, to questions. I’ve been waiting for new episodes of a series I’ve been watching to release as well. I feel like my life is empty at the moment. Without the responses, I cannot proceed to finish articles I have in the pipeline. Without the episodes, I cannot stop thinking about what happens after the cliffhanger. It’s torture. I wonder is it me who’s going too fast or is the world really this slow? If I knew I would do what’s necessary. Whenever I complain about waiting why is it that I feel like others are much better at waiting than I am?

I’m not saying that I’m very important and that I should be a priority on everyone’s lists but replying is just a nice thing to do so another person doesn’t overthink about the possibilities. Moreover, it’s the weekend so that should be discounted as well. It’s not a life or death situation but I guess I’m answerable to others so it puts me in a bit of a spot. I usually reply to a message or e-mail within five minutes, that’s because I hate having unread e-mails in my inbox. If you’re not a stranger you will always receive a response from me, if I don’t know you too well you might have to wait a bit but I will get back. But I don’t know how some people can deal with not replying at all.

When waiting involves people, you really have no control because it depends on them and the choices they make. You have nothing to do with it, it’s not something time can solve. To wait, you need to be ok with waiting. I have ways of dealing with waiting on my own such as finding something else to do. Although I know at the back of my mind I am still thinking of why so much is on hold. It’s give and take, you accept that you’ve done your best and admit that you being annoyed or you being impatient will not make things move faster it’ll just be even more excruciating.

The series I’m watching on Netflix, releases two episodes per day, Wednesday to Friday and the rest of the time you’re left to your own devices. It really bothers me. I guess that’s because I have been watching all the episodes of any series at a stretch lately. I used to to do it before too I wouldn’t watch a series until all the episodes were out because I couldn’t wait for each episode. This is the first series since 2014  I am watching one episode at a time. But after two weeks it’s not working out for me. I need to know what happens next. I looked at the timeline and the last episode will be aired on 31st August. I am horrified.

Now that we’re nearly done with half the episodes, I am in a soup. I can either wait for a month to watch the entire thing or I have to take it as it comes. Either way, I have to wait. I should have known better, but Netflix really trapped me this time. I feel betrayed by the platform which felt like my safe haven for a while, the one thing that could never really let me down. But it tricked me. In the larger scheme of things, this is not so bad but right now I’m under a lot of pressure. I feel like my hands are tied.

I am at the mercy of time. Waiting teaches you quite a bit. You live on time’s terms, even if you do everything, time can change everything. So I have decided I am just going to let myself be. I don’t have to break my head over things that are beyond my control. Perhaps waiting for the next episode or waiting for all the episodes to be released will be a good thing for me. All those who have to get back to me will get back to me, maybe just not now. After all, it’s just waiting.

Yes, I feel like I need to be moving faster, I want to get work done and I want to know what happens to those characters. It’s ok though because when the wait comes to an end it’ll be a flood, the episodes, the work everything will be an avalanche in itself. I guess I better use this time to prepare myself for that. Although I must admit I have my own way of moving ahead. I’m doing the stuff that doesn’t require the wait so that when the wait is over it’s only about filling in the blanks. Otherwise, there will be too much to do later on.

With the series, well I went and looked up the storyline of the series as it’s based on a series that aired in 2001. So now I know what happens, some would think it’s blasphemy but I like that my mind is at peace now. It’s only a matter now of watching the episodes knowing that things will turn out ok in the end. Patience is key, but I won’t let time have the last word.

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