It’s been intense these past two days. Wrapping up the fellowship has been filled with equal amounts of laughter and equal amounts of stress. I am happy everything pulled together well in the end but I am not very keen on the void of the next two months when things will become significantly slower. I’ve been asked what my plans are after this and my mind draws a blank. You should know by now that my life is a series of improvisations. I like to think it’s called, “rolling with the punches,” it’s actually serendipity. That sounds less glamorous I know.
My day today went better than expected, it was a unique day, which involved a fair amount of walking, two rounds of Lazer Tag which brought out a beast in me, ice cream and a certificate. That just about sums up my day. It was a very good day. I returned home with a smile on my face and dead feet. I felt like a child, free and happy. I wasn’t worried about tomorrow and adult things like time taken to travel home, logical progression of things and annoying pleasantries. It was worth it, the eight weeks I spent on this. That’s the assurance I got when the certificate was in my hand. Lots of things could have happened, there are lots of things I could have done differently but then maybe the outcome wouldn’t have been what it is today.
I came home tired but happy and with an extra helping of chocolate sauce in my bag from my favourite ice cream place. I’m now happy that mornings won’t begin at six and nights won’t have to end at ten. Of course, there will be hurdles, I’ll have to find new outlets for my focus and drive but I think those will automatically get adjusted once I figure out exactly what needs to be done next. Of course, lots of goodbyes were exchanged today and I must say I’m not good at goodbyes, I’d rather just skip them altogether. It’s because it makes me very uncertain about things to come.
Goodbyes are awkward, weird but they are necessary otherwise how would you remember a person? You remember somebody or something because it happened because you spent time with them. As I walked around that part of the city I know like the back of my hand, the place my life began in, literally, I was overcome with emotions. I lived there till I was five, and I spent 12 years of my education there as well. Every haunt, every street, and every tree holds some meaning to me. Perhaps no other place in the world will last in my mind like that. Even the part of the city I live in now is not as familiar as that area. I can remember everything, and it’s the one place I’ll never feel lost in. It felt appropriate that another chapter in my life ended in the same place.
I guess I’m someone who attaches importance to the insignificant things, so for me, a cup of tea or an ice cream sparks more in me than other things. I visited the ice cream place and remembered how my two best friends convinced me to apply to the university I eventually went on to study in after much doubt and debate. I was in my uniform, skeptical of what my best friends were saying and trying to convince them otherwise. Whenever I think back most of what have been big events in my life, and some of the toughest and easiest moments of my life have been in that part of town. No matter how far I go, life brings me back there repeatedly.
Every time I think I’m done with it I’ll be there with the same bag on my shoulder, earphones plugged in and crossing the busy roads risking my life in the process in pursuit of something- inspiration, work, friends, food, everything. The same roads I skipped and ran on when I was three are the same roads I wandered with my best friends. The same roads on which I fell and tripped are still the ones I trip on today. So today in this part of town I felt like I could see my past. It was like graffiti, multi-coloured and bright on every wall and even the sky.
I have painted these streets and these memories are mine to keep. People may paint these walls white again, but these are memories written on them that only I can see. My steps have grown roots that will last forever, the wind knows my name here and the trees that grew up with me will forever be my siblings. Even the gutter I fell into when I was four, will remember me. Some graffiti is only for your eyes. I cherish it and I hope I make more memories on these very streets. I’ll keep coming back, with new people, with new reasons, and with new appearances.
I was there when I was four feet tall, I was there when I lost my milk teeth, I was there when my hair grew, I was there when I had my first crush and was there when I met my first love, I was there when I got my nose piercing, when I shifted cities, when I got streaks in my hair, when I read my poems in my second poetry slam, I was there when I worked in my first internship, my last internship and there’s more to come. My graffiti on these white walls are forever embellished, and they will never fade.