Drawing a blank

I can’t catch a break. There are just some days on the calendar that mean nothing to you and today is one of those days for me. I am writing about it here, which means in a way I am immortalising the day. I think that’s a minor technicality. When I sat down to write today I just couldn’t figure out where to begin. Not that a lot has happened but it’s just so uneventful. I thought I was free from my cold yesterday. Just when the cold left I found I’ve caught a stomach bug. I was ticked off, to say the least.

I didn’t expect that my Friday was going to be this sad. I slept through half-the-day and had a type of boiled rice for lunch and dinner which is my mother’s home remedy for every stomach ailment. I should say though that was the one type of food I was able to hold down. To top it all off, the TV series I was watching came to a happy ending which left me wanting more. I spent the morning rewatching the final episode and now I can remember all of it by heart. I tried finding something new to watch in vain, nothing inspired the same amount of excitement.

The stomach bug couldn’t come at a worse time, we were planning to go for a movie tomorrow but obviously, that’s hanging by a thread, it can happen only if I feel better tomorrow. That being said, I’ve been watching all the celebrities in my country get excited over a star-studded wedding which has filled my Instagram feed and despite my lack of interest in the news, I know all the details of this wedding. It’s going to be voting day in the state tomorrow and the moment of truth for the state. Today morning, I heard my grandfather trying to convince my Mum to vote for the party of his liking which was funny. Needless to say, nobody tries to convince me because they know I’ll never listen.

This day has by far been the least productive and in the evening I got a reality check from my new workplace asking me if I’m going to be there for my first day on Monday. I said yes as my stomach groaned in protest. As things stand, I have to be alright by Sunday even if it means no good weekend food and no going out. It’s tough. I am still reeling from the ending of the series and my head is constantly singing the OST of said series. It has not been easy today, nobody’s week should end this way.

I am currently watching Bollywood songs play as I write this and try and make sense of my head. I was pensive through the day, mostly because I was extremely uncomfortable. This election has been particularly stressful because I’ve followed it to the end. Usually, I distance myself from matters such as these simply because I know I stand on the other side of the fence. As someone who has been reading anarchist literature since a very early age, politics goes against what should be my belief which is in a stateless society. Every time elections come I don’t know why the same hollow promises are made and they succeed. Politicians are busy taking digs at each other like kindergarten students. It’s like they don’t even try.

Gone are the days when politicians used to be heard fighting openly on television. That happens too, but the drama now seeps into their Twitter feeds. Everybody knows that everybody involved is corrupt. This is nothing new. Every five years, money is spent in the name of the election and we have to listen to politicians speak of development. Basically, politics is getting old. I just can’t wait for tomorrow when it’s going to be over. I have so many opinions about all of this but I dare voice them here where I will be open to much backlash. I am not that stupid.

I don’t know what this weekend has in store for me. Perhaps more boiled rice. That’s what’s written in my destiny. I was previously excited, but now I am wondering what’s the point? The TV series made me miss my friends and miss being a teenager. I miss it but I never want to be one again, that was the most awkward time of my life. I was telling my Mum today morning that I need something new to watch. My parents don’t consider these things to be genuine problems.

I have to remind myself that they are from the generation when there was no TV. I can see it in their eyes that they can’t relate when I say things like, “My life depends on the next episode.” I have a habit of yelling at the TV screen when I watch and my parents always look at me like I have lost it. I think this vacuum created by the lack of a TV series to watch and the back-to-back health issues is taking its toll on me. I just need to focus on reality here. Today was one of those days. One of those days, when the radio plays abysmal music when all that’s available in the store is vanilla ice cream and there’s no Nutella left in the jar. The good thing is that today will come to an end in a couple of hours and hopefully tomorrow will be more fruitful.


4 thoughts on “Drawing a blank

  1. Poonacha PG says:

    Like your simple and honest style of reflecting and sharing your thoughts. Look forward to more posts. Liked your thought, “As someone who has been reading anarchist literature since a very early age, politics goes against what should be my belief which is in a stateless society” Fights between believers and their atrocities, driven by such beliefs, and the observers/opposers with different beliefs will always lead to such conflict for states and boundaries. Are we destined to live with only beliefs and biases and face all the consequences? Hope the human society soon reaches a stage where humans don’t let their beliefs affect other humans in harmful ways.

    Liked by 1 person

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