Boring days come in plenty. There’s nothing new that happens on such days and it’s redundant to expect something to happen. I thought that when I became an adult every day would be my day that I would spend doing great things and making life-changing decisions. But mostly it’s just me munching snacks, watching TV and commenting on the government like an old geezer with nothing positive to say about anything. People keep telling me that life is great and one must cherish it, but to do that it must be interesting in the first place.
It’s like I am running out of excitement. The template for every day remains the same. I am trying to shake things up but everything somehow remarkably goes back to being a poor imitation of yesterday. Much of it has to do with my attitude, but obviously, I am going to try and make it seem like I don’t know that. I want to watch politics but right everything going on just makes me angry. That’s because outside of my boring bubble things are happening, things are changing. There’s rage over issues and these are grave issues.
Privilege allows me to sit behind the screen and change the channel when I can’t handle reality. But some people live that harsh reality every day and unlike me, they can’t change the channel. If I can’t watch the mess that is the politics in my country for longer than two minutes imagine being at the receiving end of those misplaced laws, brutality and violence that seems to be everywhere. My socio-economic background by virtue of being born into a well-meaning and well-to-do family is my only protection from the brunt of politics.
It’s not fun to wake up in the morning and see politicians’ inappropriate quotes headline in the morning newspaper, read that no bill gets passed because the parliament can’t proceed without quarrels and the number of victims rape and murder seem to take every day are like a dangerous game of minesweeper that no matter what will not end well. I suffer from depression, but nothing that I am going through will ever compare to those issues. I can’t do much about belonging to the majority, unfortunately, and trust me I am relieved that those problems are not mine. But it’s the aftertaste these incidents leave behind that makes you uncomfortable as you see that even though these issues are so deep-rooted and hard to combat there are people who don’t get it, who have the nerve to twist it and make it harder for these issues to be solved.
Yeah, my days are boring, I sit around the house moping like a bird whose wings are clipped that I can’t fly but the funny thing is I have the privilege to demand entertainment. The gears have shifted now, I can’t change mindsets and around every corner, there is someone waiting to scoff, polarise and try to reduce issues to nothing. My privilege makes it easy for me to get bored and thereby ignore. I need constant entertainment, a TV, computer, cell phone, food in my belly and books that fill rows and rows of shelves is not enough to keep me entertained. Really, the more I read into this I find that I am flawed.
Flaws that perhaps I can’t really undo but can make up for by not whining so much. These days I don’t engage much in conversations where intelligence is somehow forgotten where blind loyalty to the government in power is somehow mistaken for nationalism and skewed reading of statistics leads to an annoying invalid defense of misdeeds. But as the opinions have spiralled off the track of intelligence straying dangerously into the area of threats and flak I have decided that I need calm, because if I were to engage some of these people I might forget my manners. So a dignified silence turns into anger swelling at the pit of my stomach as I put my phone aside so as not to blow a fuse.
Ergo, I describe my days as boring, as something irrelevant sans excitement. I watch these debates on the news which sound more like quarrels at a fish market and ask myself why I even bother, hoping that people use rationality. It seems as if people have stopped thinking, and sometimes I feel like some of us have missed the memo the few who get it but are silenced into intellectual spaces, the dusty untouched corners of libraries or the protesting students of a college put repeatedly under the scanner and WhatsApp chats of old college friends like an underground club of sorts. There suddenly I become cathartic while on the surface I remain stoic and impervious to the issues that question humanity and whether evolution has really done us any good compared to the stone age.
Honestly, the easiest thing to do is to put yourself in a bubble and pretend like everything is great. For some reason no matter how hard I try, I just cannot and many a time I have brushed people the wrong way and have found that the depths of my anger run way too deep. Days are boring when you live like nothing’s going on. People like us should be thankful for boring days, I know I am. Being bored is a privilege, and privilege is an albatross we all must carry around our neck, never to escape it.